Pigeons and Public Toilets.

Haha. Wow. I'm not even sure where to begin on this one. This weekend was the first weekend of shooting our major films for first year at Chapman University. It was an amazing experience of pre-production, casting, rehearsals, meetings and finally our day of shooting 16mm. In all my years of searching and playing around the globe I have finally found what it is I want to do. That said...all that magic was overshadowed a bit by a story I'm not sure I even believe. Thank the sweet baby jesus I have a witness to corroborate my story. :)

On Friday we were on set nice an early ready for an 8am go. We had about 20 minutes before first shot and "nature was callin" so I ran to the bathroom before our ten-hour day in the park. The bathroom was quite a walk so I huffed it over there only to walk in to find something that looked like it was from the most recent Lionsgate slasher film (think Saw/Hostel). I begrudgingly walked into the stall and laid two (that's right, two) toilet seat covers on the toilet seat (which was broken in two btw), held my breath and sat down. All of a sudden I heard something moving. Like someone walking in circles right outside my stall.

Now...picture this apocalyptic public toilet and the sound of someone or something coming at you sitting in a very "compromised" position. I've never tried it but I am not sure how fast I could run with my pants around my ankles. So I'm sitting silently trying to discern what I can only imagine as being a one eyed man with a meat hook in his hand when I begin to stand and *WHAM* something SLAMS into the side of my stall. In a panic I stand and bend down to pull my CK boxer briefs and jeans up when the monster comes up over my stall in a fury.

There I am bare-assed to the world being attacked in a flurry of...flapping. Oh jesus. It's a pigeon. A dirty, dirty pigeon that has been walking around on the floor of this dirty, dirty bathroom is all over me. I am kicking and screaming like a four-year-old girl trying to buckle my belt. I run out of the stall to find my friend Fevzi walking in to the bathroom.

Lord knows what he thought I must have been up to in that first stall--but I came out red/flushed, panting and covered in feathers. Just as he begins to question me on what the hell is going on--the pigeon comes flapping back over the stall over our heads and lands on the grass just outside the cinderblock shit-house.

I am explaining to him my bizarre story when all of a sudden we hear a screech and my monster pigeon is impaled by a hawk--talons and all. This hawk tackles the pigeon and takes it about 20 feet from us and begins picking it apart. We just sat there for a minute watching. I don't think either of us quite knew what had just happened. Haha - I swear I am not making this up. I don't think I could. I've tried to come up with some kind of lesson or moral of the story...but I just don't think there is one. I guess the morals of the experience could be--Don't be scared, there's always a bigger monster around the corner --or maybe just-- Pigeons are dirty.

A Sexual Minority x 2

"Mayor was unaware of proclamation, now wants oversight..."

By now we've all heard the PR release, "San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom will change policy on issuing laudatory proclamations after a gay porn studio was honored last week without the mayor's knowledge, city officials said Friday." Now, I've met and spoken with all these guys and they're hearts are in the right place when it comes to LGBT rights but I think they are really missing the mark here. Whether or not Mayor Newsom knew about the "said proclamation" or not I am actually glad he, Leno and Cisneros had the naivete to make this major misstep. This misstep has allowed our community to begin the dialogue that we've desperately needed to have for decades. The conversation is just beginning but a line in the sand has been drawn. As a community we have to decide what our next steps are going to be. Are we going to continue down this inane path of rallying behind go-go dancers and people who fuck for cash or we finally going to stand up and demand equal rights in this country that we are promised in our constitution. I want nothing more, nothing less--just equal rights in the society that LGBT blood, sweat, tears and dollars support every day.

The rights of sexual expression (gay or straight) and the fight for Gay Civil Liberties are two completely different arguments having absolutely nothing to do with each other. Anyone who says gay porn IS gay politics has an warped view of our community or a vested interest in the industry. If porn studios and their allies want to fight for the right to join the mainstreams ranks of corporate America do it on your own time. Gay porn has been piggybacking on our political events and politicians for decades and I for one am sick of our platform being semen-stained with the likes of Chi Chi LaRue and Michael Lucas. This industry feigns support for the gay community when in reality you exploit our sexuality for commerce. If, as a community, we put 10% of the time and money spent on the sex industry towards the fight for civil liberties we'd be lined up at the alter by now and be serving openly/proudly in our military. It's a diversion. These people and these industries are a tired, tired diversion. We are not equal citizens. Currently, we are not even equal humans under the law. Is the right to log on to Rentboy.com enough? Is rallying as a community to change city ordinances to keep a club space open past 2AM really an accomplishment?

Listen, I love sex and my sexual expression probably more than the next guy. If you think this is an attack on sexual expression you're completely missing the point. Both are valid platforms and we have got to separate the two movements in order to get anywhere with either of them. The stage is set for a political revolution. The day I can bring my own family to an LGBT non-profit event and not see a basket of porn up for auction or the day I can bring my mother to Gay Pride and not see the latest Double Bareback Penetration flick on display will be a proud gay day. It will be a day I know we've made some headway in this country as a political power not simply just a failing sexual minority.

I have absolutely no interest in politicians’ personal lives or agendas but when our elected officials bring their after-hours interests into the public arena on behalf of all of us in the LGBT community I respectfully have to ask them to speak only for themselves. Please take two minutes to write Mayor Newsom, Assemblyman Leno and City Treasurer Cisneros and let them know utilizing our public platform to rally behind the gay porn industry is not the way to go.

It's time for a new direction.

gavin.newsom@sfgov.org
(415) 554-6141

assemblymember.leno@assembly.ca.gov
(415) 557-3013

City Treasurer Cisneros
(415) 554-4400

A sexual minority.

San Francisco's Mayor Gavin Newsom declares February 23, 2007, "Colt Studios Day"...

I'm sorry, what was that? Did you just say Colt Studios day? Did I read that right? The Mayor that single handedly sparked the nation wide marriage equality debate just set aside a day for a gay porn studio?

YUP, that's it. I've hit a major impasse with the LGBT community on so many levels.

I recently received two emails back to back--that pretty much sums up where this community is headed. The first of the two emails was an outrageous email/link reporting the severe beating of a gay man in Boston. The assailants were protesting marriage equality and beat this man in broad daylight. The majority of the video is of him laying on the street waiting for the paramedics while hundreds of right-wingers/"compassionate Christians" are cheering. It's disgusting.

The other of the two emails was an invitation to this year's annual GayVN awards. Just in case you're not 100% aware what the GayVN awards are I'll sum it up: It's an awards ceremony gay porn producers created for themselves in hopes to giving more "artistic" legitimacy to their industry. With categories like: Best Oral Scene and Best Sex Scene Duo it truly is a night where the finest of the pimps and prostitutes in the gay community come together to celebrate a year of "hard" work.

What struck me most about this ridiculous email (which normally, I would have just deleted) was the commentary about the event. And I quote, "For whatever else may go on during Award time, it is a chance for the our community to come together, unify and strengthen."

When I read these two emails back to back I felt nauseous. "This is a chance for our community to come together, unify and strengthen." Haha - Are you kidding me? No, our chance to come together, unify and strengthen would have been protesting the beating of one of our own in Boston. Our chance to unify and strengthen is to speak out together against the people who want to keep us from civil equality--not celebrating people who get paid to be ejaculated on.

Any of you who actually know me know (very loudly) my stance on porn. Porn has it's place. It's frivolous entertainment (for about 3.7 minutes, anyway). It is NOT an identity and it's not a legitimate culture. If you want to make your living by sticking things up your ass, go for it--but you are NOT my spokesperson.

What I think this self-aggrandizing industry doesn't realize is that they are politically killing an entire community's civil rights. Some of you might say this is an overexageration. Sorry folks, it is not. When the Bill O'Reilly's of the world can not only point out the absurdity of our community but televise pictures of it (which he did with the Newsom story) we are fighting a losing battle. You are jeopardizing my ability to have a legally solvent family and equal rights in this country. When we stop acting like adolescent, party burnouts is the only time society is going to recognize us as a viable part of its makeup.

Now, does this represent the majority of the LGBT community? Absolutely not, but this is who we've let become our spokespeople and media-whores. I can not go to another pride event just to see some bloated, drag queen, porn producer or steroided, sloppy bottom pandering to our base. You people are tired. You are a cliche. It is time we grow up and stand up. Until then we're just a right-less minority group waiting for the next GayVNs.