Email Archives

Hi Wes-

good news - I talked to a woman from a group in Syracuse that helps guide GLBTQ youth. She said- like you- that it's illegal to have the school stop us from having a group. So she's going to help me and my friends get a group started! Thanks for your help.

~Bill~

Hi Wes-

This is Bill writing. you emailed me before with some tips to help me get a youth group started in my high school. Well... the good news is - it got started and the first official meeting is October 13th, 2004!!! I'm so excited. even thou I'm very happy, I really just gave some of my advise to one of my friends and she helped me get it started. So.. Horray!

*I don't know if its fall where you live, but fall in NY is amazing. SO.. enjoy the fall while it lasts!! *

~Bill~

Bill

Bill that is FANTASTIC! Congratulations! You probably don't know it yet but you are making a HUGE impact on your school, town and peers. I guess today would be your first official meeting. It takes a lot of courage and determination and I really admire that - especially in our youth.

Jog my memory, what city are you writing from? I would like to hear all about your first meeting.

Thanks for the update!

All the best,
-Wes

Hi Wes -

I'm from Syracuse NY.

The club we started is called PRIDE. it stands for People Respecting Identity Decisions and Equality. The first meeting was awesome. The advisor ordered three or four boxes of pizza, and SOO many people showed attended- the whole classroom was full! The mission statement was read and everyone was asked if they thought it needed to be changed in any way - but it was fine. We talked about possible trips the club might take and we discussed the GLBTQ day of silence on April 13 2005.

Thanks for your support and concern

~Bill~

Hey Bill!

That is great. I can't wait to hear where the club goes from here. Kudos for putting this together and helping to bridge the gap between gay and straight in your community. I am very proud of you!We need more people and groups like you out there - now more than ever! It's going to be a toughfour years for our community but if we band together and get ready for the fight - there is nothing we can't overcome. Congrats!

Keep me posted!

All the best,

-Wes

Dear Wes,

My name is Bryan and I'm 21. I'm writing to you because I'm totally lost and don't really know who to turn to.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything, it just seems like I'm completely stuck between the straight world and the gay world.

Every since middle school, I knew I was attracted to guys but I never really accepted it. I have always acted straight and I even used to join in when my friends made fun of gay people. I even used to look down on gay people and kept trying to tell myself that I was not gay.

When I saw the amazing Broadway show "Take Me Out" a couple months ago, it completely opened my eyes. Daniel Sunjata's performance was so amazing and the play really made a big impact on me.

I have not come out to anyone simply because I'm deathly afraid of the reaction I would get. I act pretty straight and I don't think anyone around me can tell that I'm gay. Since I can't tell anyone, I'm always forced to make excuses for why I haven't had a girlfriend in a while and why I'm interested in this and that. It's really tough. I'm constantly having to hide things from everyone I know. Recently though, I have been taking small steps to defend gay people and it is happening more and more often. I have even seriously considered coming out to my sister who would probably be the most understanding.

This summer, I hope to be living in New York while doing an internship. I have told myself that since I don't know anyone there, it's a perfect time to try out the gay lifestyle. I love New York to death and it seems like the perfect place to do it. My problem is that the gay lifestyle is completely new to me and I have no idea what to do.

I'm writing to you about this because I have no idea what to do. I'm attracted to guys who are masculine, which makes meeting them even harder, and I am super-shy. It's really weird to say, but up until about a year ago, I just wanted sex. Now, I just want a relationship with the perfect guy more and more as time goes on.

I would really appreciate any help you could give me. I just feel like I'm trying to enter a brand new world that I know absolutely nothing about and it scares me a lot.

Thank you so much and I wish you all the best!

Bryan

Bryan,

I can tell you I was exactly in your situation my freshman year of college. I knew I was gay but no one in my life had any idea. Granted there were a few "stereotypical" signs (Ah..Ah..theatremajor...choo!:) )but I had become a genius at making excuses and dancing around the gay issue.

It is a very hard thing to come to terms with sexuality. As you become more and more comfortable with being gay it is important to realize that being gay is a wonderful thing. It took time to realize it myself but the minute you love and accept yourself is the minute the people in your life will see you as a strong gay role model as well.

You can never anticipate anyone's reaction but you have to know the kind of people you want in your life long term will be the kind of people that will not care if you are gay or straight, tall or short, black or white, brown or blond, thin or fat. Can you imagine someone not being in your life just because you had blond hair or were Asian?

It looks like you are in college by your email address and sounds like you are not living at home. Still, it is important that you have a social network in place while you start to come out. Friends who will support you, family, etc. Your sister might be a great place to start. That was the first person I told. She was great.

New York can be a great place to find yourself and your sexual identity. Just be careful not to fall in the trap of letting your sexuality dictate who you are. It is sexuality - just ONE of the many great things that make up who you are. Go-Go Boys and Cosmos are NOT a way of life. A lot of us get to "the big city and get trapped in the gay scene. It can be alluring but in the long run not very satisfying.

Yours in struggle!

All the best!

-Wes

Dear Wes,

My name is Ronni. I hope this letter finds you well and hope it is really you who reads this letter I am 20 years old and I live in Israel. I watched all the episodes on my computer and thought you were very sweet and wonderful.

I think you know that it is so hard being gay in Israel. We have so much war and anger in our country it is not easy to be gay and open. The fact you can do this on TV has really made me proud. It surprises me that your government can be so against you. Even though there are mixed feelings about the United States in my country - we still look at it as the most free place in the world. I think if you are gay it may not be so true. I admire that your show says it's ok to be gay. I am working on telling my family but the fact I can see you on the computer makes me feel that there is different kind of family for me out there - my gay family.

Thank you.

-Ronni (my nickname)

Ronni,

What an amazing letter. Please know that you do have a family out there. The gay community is family and creates a world where it is ok to be yourself. It is my hope that eventually all these ideas will spread from the TV to real life.

The more emails I receive and the more traveling I do, I realize we still have so much work to do to let the next generation know how important you are. In many cultures around the world it is very difficult to be open with your sexuality. If nothing else, I hope you can take away from this email is that even though it may not be safe to be out in public, you should feel safe in coming out to yourself and knowing you are a powerful, gay man.

Take a look at The Out List to see how many people all over the world are part of your family.

Your Big Gay Family,

-Wes